Till The End
by kurosaki9
Summary: The past always comes back to you. The present always reminds you of the things you do. But is that really all enough when it counts for the most?


Title: Till The End

Pairing: AsamixAkihito

Warning: PG-13 for some sexual references and Angst

Credit: goes to Yamane-Sensei for her lovely boys. Hopefully we see them real soon

Summary: The past always comes back to you. The present always reminds you of the things you do. But is that really all enough when it counts for the most?

A/N: Wanted to do the Club_Sion activity: Do something based on Akihito thoughts on how his life is changed given the recent events _(His blossoming relationship with Asami, his kidnapping, his feeling for Fei Long, the fact he had actually shot a man, etc. etc.)_…… So I did something but please don't hate me .

I look up to see a ceiling I'm all too familiar with. It's practically my home now from the constant times I've been dragged here. I do remember how I hated being dragged here, to bend to that bastard's will. I was a wild animal in his eyes, something needed to be hunted down and trained into submission. He wanted the pleasure of having someone rebellious follow your every wish without a second thought. What a bastard I thought but now… Now, I'm not so sure in what to think anymore.

It happened about 8 months ago. My first real operation at night. I was given the opportunity to roam free, with my camera in hand. I had heard of a place named Sion and the things they did in that particular place. I never really knew that those types of places existed. I thought they were stories the old geezers said to keep brats like me out of trouble but apparently the old farts had some credibility to their stories.

I had wanted to prove my worth back then. I was a kid who had gotten off the street by Yama-san. The man always knew where to find kids like me. I had been fighting my whole life, trying to live peacefully but I could never do so. People kept coming after me. Yama-san had given me a choice; come and make a greater good in life or rot and wither away in those dark alleys I used to call home. Being apart of something was a thing I needed to be a part of. I needed something to keep myself occupied. I didn't want to go back to the lifestyle I lived before.

I had gotten myself in trouble with the man named Asami Ryuuichi. I never knew that the guy was so muscular and good looking. I had always thought he was an old geezer who liked chasing skirts, fucking sluts high on drugs. But he didn't seem to be a guy like that. He looked well composed and didn't like his reputation being tainted. I had the audacity to crawl into that small tight hole and I couldn't find that exit. I was screwed ever since.

The time he had raped me was my first true encounter with the man. I had thought that he would use me for his own sexual pleasure and then discard me quickly like most people did to others. But what flabbergasted me the most was that he had taken my lips onto his own and ravished me. He had let me go after that. For the pleasure of the hunt he had said. I always wished that he had killed me then and there to save me from this humiliation. To be ravished by a man was something not worth mentioning. It was looked down upon by many people. I didn't like it either… I felt so dirty… so defiled… so used.

Months had passed before I had met him again. But I had gotten myself caught in an unwanted situation. A guy had been killed in front of me and he had left me with a disk. He had told me to take it to that bastard. I didn't want to. I was afraid of what might happen to me. Those caresses had still not washed off from my body. I still felt those cold hands on me. It was disgusting.

I had gotten captured by a Chinese Mafia Group. Their leader was called Fei Long Laoban. I didn't like the guy the moment I saw him. He looked tainted, dirty. He looked like he liked deflowering people for his own pleasure. When I failed to tell him some information. He had taken me to his quarters. He did away with me as he pleased, ravishing my body like the bastard had done before. I reminded myself that I didn't like it, but was it just to assure me of what I wanted to be true? Did I really not like being toyed by a man? I had felt my blood boil by this man's touch. The drugs were present but was that pleasure I felt from the drugs? Or was I just making an excuse to keep myself from breaking?

It had finally turned once I had met Fei Long again. I was talking to my friends and he had threatened me with their well- being. I had gone to Asami to plead with him to help them. He had mocked me and I had cried. I didn't like the mockery and I had been so frightened at the thought of losing my friends. I remembered that he had taken my lips. He had said that I wasn't worth any of that and he had taken me. He plunged in then pulled out and then once again. I had screamed for him to stay buried beneath me. Was that really me that had said that?

I had been ravished again and again that night, the man plunging into me. I screamed for him, the way he taught me from the previous encounters. He liked that. He liked the thought that I was somewhat tamed by him, if only a fraction. I also remembered when I had acted irrational and went seeking for Fei Long. I had gotten myself fucked brutally and I had seen Asami get shot. Once I was locked up and then only let free to do whatever things Fei Long wanted me to do, was the only time I really looked at my situation. I did not like this whole thing at all but here I was… I was part of it and he had told me before… 'Keep your nose out of things that do not concern you. You will get pulled into it and I won't come to save you.' Was this it now?

I remember being told that I would meet up with Asami for an exchange. I had been so happy about it. But I saw the look on one of the mens' faces. It looked wrong. I saw him shoot his partner and he had pointed the gun at me. I screamed the only name that was in my head. 'Asami…'

Being held up in a place with people who just had you for their own gain had not had me in the best of moods. I had blamed everything that was happening to me, all Asami's fault. The bastard got into things he shouldn't and I was the one paying for them. But then I thought back of the times he had gone out of his way to save me. He could have left me to die and be done with me, but he hadn't. he had come to save me time and time again. I had also remembered back to the last time he held me. He had fucked me hard but his embrace… It had been so gentle, so secure. Had he come to love me? Had I come to love him? This was all so confusing but, it didn't matter anymore.

I had been chocked by the man named Yuri countless times. I didn't know why the man did it. It always frightened me when he would lead assaults against me. Did he hate me, I wondered. In order to keep me a bit sane, I thought of him as being insane. It helped for a while.

I had moaned out Asami's name in the bathroom. How I missed him. I thought that he would be here by now, saving me but my small hope was quickly becoming faint. I did not believe I would get back to his safe arms. I would die here, not letting those I loved and cared for know that I was alright. This was all coming to bite me in the ass. If I had just thought out of this my entire life, I wouldn't be in this stupid situation. I wouldn't have met Asami!

But then I wouldn't have met Asami. But the times I remember him had been the good and the bad but I never wished for them to leave. I had always taken life as it was thrown at my face. It wasn't like I hated the man. I had just told myself that I loved him. It just made me mad on how worthless and weak I was. The shooting of Kirishima-san had proven it to me once again.

How dare he shoot at me? How dare he shoot at Asami's men? I wouldn't stand by like a damsel in distress. I would take matters into my own hands. Whether the outcome was for the best or not did not matter to me. They had all taken me lightly. Did they not think that this small cat would snap? All things bare their fangs when they have had enough. It wasn't any different today. I was out for retaliation and I would get it.

My hands were pulled back a bit once I had fired. The cold weapon was so good in my hands. It felt like it belonged there. I had been afraid to shoot but I had overcome that fear. It felt so good, but it was also horrifying all the same. I saw the man's eyes glow red as he chased me. I had ran towards a hiding place; anywhere to escape the man's wrath. I had run through a door and I had blocked it off. Yuri was there hitting the door while I tried to find an escape. There was nowhere to go.

I screamed Asami's name. I had cursed him once more and then I heard a faint sound call my name. I had looked up and had seen my devil. How high he was. I couldn't reach for him and hold him. He was too far away.

I had seen the gun barrel and everything seemed to freeze. My life had rapidly flashed before my eyes. There was nothing I wasn't proud of. Everything had gone well. I wasn't ashamed of anything now. Then his cold stare was the last of my memories. Tears welled up in my eyes as it would be my final hours. '_Asami… I… you… forever…'_

The shot had rang out and I had stumbled back and then everything faded from my eyes. I had heard another shot ring but it did not matter anymore. I was at peace now. I had said goodbye to everything I knew. But for some reason, my conscious wouldn't let me rest. It kept telling me to get up and move forward. I did so after being fed up and I had seen those gold eyes I loved so much.

We had gone back and we had dressed our wounds. He had held me and had told me that he couldn't wait anymore. I couldn't either and we did it on the boat. I did not care about who heard and if we were seen. All that mattered was what was in front of me. I would hold on tight to what was left of my previous life. I would not let go of this man, and I felt that neither would he.

"Akihito…" I heard him call me from the living room. I looked towards the door and saw it slightly ajar. When had he gotten up and left to the other room? I had been here the whole time. Could it have been when I was asleep? I looked back up at the ceiling and then got up to go to him. I was wearing one of his dress shirts. IT was too long for me. Looked to be some long pajamas on me. I went to him and he had made me sit in his lap.

He kissed me and then held me close. I felt his breath hit my neck. It made me shudder but I didn't shy away from it. This wasn't the time to be like that. This was different and I knew that everything would change from this point on.

"Akihito… My kitten… I adore you…" he had said. I wrapped my arms around him. This felt a bit sweet for me. But nothing would be like this for long.

There would always be troubles headed our way. We would be there to protect but we would fail one day. Deaths would occur. That would be inevitable but one thing was for sure. If I had died… and had gotten a second chance at life… I might find him once more, regardless of his age.

"Shall I die, you shall receive everything I have..." he had said. I felt like he would vanish from me. I didn't want it. I had hugged him closer. I did not want this to end. Please… just for once, let me stay with you. Do not think of my well-being.

"Everything rests with you, Akihito… Take care of yourself…" And that was the end. Everything shatters before me. I look up at the ceiling and scream. He left me for my own good. I didn't want this.

"Asami… Wait! Please!" I had called to him. I had been restrained from behind and he had looked at me. "I have no use for you now. You can live alone. You have your freedom."

Here I lie, on this cold floor… Looking up at this blank slate. I felt cold. I felt everything leaving me. 'Asami… I love you…' I look back up and see the door open. I see his pained face and I smile. "I meant it all Asami… For you I'd do anything…" And everything began to cloud. His desperate pleas were all that was left. It was all for him.

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Yeah, yeah… I fucked the end but it was to gooee for me. Hope you did like it.


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